🦄 CHEESE & ONION ZOO – PUBLIC AREAS
🐣 1. The Tame Mistakes Meadow
A grassy area where visitors can meet gentler magical creatures.
Includes:
• Wool-laying chickens
• Three-legged rabbits
• Floating guinea pigs
• Breadgers (badgers made of bread – do not feed ducks)
Picnic zone features benches that gently hum lullabies.
🎈 2. The Bubble Habitat
Home to creatures encased in large magical bubbles for safety.
Yours and theirs.
Popular with children.
Features:
• Fizzy fish (bounce when poked)
• Invisible pandas (visible only if you burp)
• The Shrinking Moose (size changes depending on compliments)
🎭 3. The Talking Tent
A giant patchwork tent where creatures and objects tell stories.
Some are true. Most are not.
Guests can chat with:
• A gossiping boot
• A former cauldron who claims to have invented soup
• A musical loaf called Dennis
🍦 4. The Screaming Snack Shack
Run by Cleo Crumb and Barry (Not That One).
• Ice cream flavours scream their own names
• Fizzy drinks whisper your secrets
• All food items have strong opinions about theatre
🐾 5. The Petting Paddock
Visitors can (attempt to) stroke:
• Glow pigs
• Gelatinous deer
• Snoring ducks
• The Lesser-Spotted Tea Rat (faints easily)
Signed disclaimer required on entry.
🎢 6. The Mild Enchantments Trail
An interactive walk-through featuring light spells and manageable chaos.
Includes:
• Wand-flinging zone
• Reverse-gravity room
• “Guess That Smell” corridor
• The Room of Slight Regret (recommended for ages 12+)
📸 7. The Mishap Gallery
A museum-style zone celebrating historical magical accidents.
Features:
• A toaster that now lays eggs
• The original blueprint for a unicorn that turned out to be six flamingos in a coat
• A cardboard cut-out of Mr Cheese (only says “hmmm”)
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