🐾 Cobbleditch Zoo Internal Transit Options
Used exclusively by staff, creatures, confused guests, and lost sandwiches.
1. The Scream Train
Runs on emotion.
Picks up passengers mid-yell and drops them off mid-existential crisis.
The seats are warm but scream back.
2. The Mild Enchantmobile
A broken golf buggy enchanted to occasionally levitate three inches.
Changes colour depending on who’s judging you.
Smells like cinnamon and indecision.
3. The Trolley Snake
A long conga line of old supermarket trolleys glued to a massive rubber snake.
Driven by Norm the Fence.
Plays accordion music from nowhere.
4. The Zoo Shoe Shuttle
A giant mechanical shoe with seating for four.
Constantly unties its own laces.
Leaves footprints that hum.
5. The Bin Skippers
Bins on wheels with names like “Wheezy Pete” and “Susan.”
Powered by shouting.
Mostly used by Myrtle Ragg when she’s in a rush or cross.
6. The Fizz Luge
Staff-only emergency system.
A fizzy pop chute that shoots riders from one area to another.
You must shout “TAKE ME TO BREADGERS” before entering.
7. The Creature Caddies
Unclear whether these carry the creatures or are creatures.
Soft, bouncy, always humming.
Occasionally vanish for days to “find themselves.”
8. The Badge-Activated Slidey Floor
Only works if you have a zoo badge and very little dignity.
The floor tilts and glides you to your destination.
Often overshoots.
Sometimes into the duck pond.
9. The Jelly Cow Express
One cart.
One cow.
The cow jiggles.
Moo-powered.
Limited to the Jelly Zone.
Often misunderstood.
10. Ethel Custard’s Cake Cart (Hijacked)
Originally a snack cart.
Now used to tow staff across zones at unsafe speeds.
Driven by Barry (Not That One) after 2pm.
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