⚠️ Restricted Exhibit List: 001 to 025

  ⚠️ Restricted Exhibit List: 001 to 025

“Do Not Enter. Or Look. Or Ask.”

001. The Yawning Vortex
Looks like a puddle. Swallows time.

002. The Bad Idea That Became Sentient
Escaped once and invented four minor political parties.

003. The Mirror That Bites
Reflects your worst self. Then tries to eat it.

004. The Goat That Knows When You’ll Die
Screams the exact date at midnight. Every night.

005. The Hat That Won’t Come Off
Previous wearer still inside. Occasionally screams “Tuesday!”

006. The Swearing Cloud
Hovers above visitors and invents new expletives.

Recently banned in three counties.

007. The Loaf That Bit Back
Believed to be cursed.

Now only fed mail.

008. The Cloak of Permanent Itch
Can’t be removed. Has ruined several marriages.

009. The Banana That Remembers Everything
Too many secrets. Very angry.

Has tried to escape by fax.

010. The Hatched Egg with No Record of Origin
What’s inside still hasn’t blinked.

011. The Upside-Down Room
Gravity optional. Morals reversed.

One intern still speaks backwards.

012. The Enchanted Filing Cabinet (Unlabelled)
Every drawer opens to a different universe.

One contains only ham and dread.

013. The Keyboard That Types Prophecies
All in Comic Sans.

014. The Puppet That Doesn’t Like You
Passive-aggressive. Violent when ignored.

Currently restrained in a padded punchbowl.

015. The Soup That Won’t Cool Down
Been boiling since 1997.

Once burnt through a bench.

016. The Toasted Otter of Disapproval
Stares. Judges.

Last known to cause two resignations and a nosebleed.

017. The Duplicate Intern
No one knows who the original was.

Both insist they’re the decaf one.

018. The Tunnel of Slight Regret
Just a bit sad, really.

One child cried for two hours about a sandwich they didn’t eat.

019. The Hat of Infinite Pigeons
Self-explanatory.

020. The Door That Leads to the Same Corridor
Unless you’re wearing Crocs.

021. The Sentient Badge Machine
Only issues “Liar” badges.

Refuses to explain why.

022. The Upside-Down Duck
Gravity only affects the head.

Causes confusion and mild vertigo.

023. The Vacuum That Sucks Up Hope
Originally in Lost Property.

Now in full containment.

024. The Clock That Strikes 13 and Sings
Sometimes in your voice.

025. The Feral Birthday Cake
Sprinkles are weaponised.

Approached only by Mary and two brave interns.